Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be.
Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.
Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.
“We are so attached to our suffering that laughing happens, generally, only as a release of tension. Only rarely, very rarely, does laughing happen without cause. We cannot laugh; we cannot be happy; even in our laughing there is pain. But laughing is so beautiful, such a deep cleansing, a deep purification. If you wake up laughing, you will soon begin to feel how absurd life is. Nothing is serious: even your disappointments are laughable, even your pain is laughable, even you are laughable. Let your laughter be your only prayer. Let your joy be your only offering. Love life! Love small things! Don’t miss a single moment. Go on getting more and more joyful, and you will find God is coming to you more and more. My emphasis is to increase your cheerfulness, your laughter, because this world is not for the miserable. This world is not for the people who have become too accustomed to anxiety, anguish. This world belongs to those who live moment to moment in utter ecstasy. Cheerfulness, non-seriousness, a sense of humour to me, are very fundamental qualities of a religious being. Be a joke unto yourself. Laugh at yourself. But learn to laugh. Seriousness is a sin, and it is a disease. Laughter has tremendous beauty, a lightness. It will bring lightness to you, and it will give you wings to fly.”
So, I like broke down in tears this morning. It was really crazy for me because I don't cry a lot but I was just so frustrated with everything that's been going on and then my mind got to thinking. It's crazy the things you realize and when you realize them. I'm so lonely, like I constantly feel like I'm alone even when I'm not. This morning I realize I give and give yet I can't seem to see where I receive. It's just so frustrating I do for people and yet I can't thing of a time something was done for me that I was ask if I wanted to do. To me it always seem as if people always expect me to go along with things. I'm being pull in some much different direction and I'm not happy with any of the directions. I'm pretty good a faking happiness because I have to be in order to seem like I'm being selfish especially when it comes to certain people. I absouletly despise the fact that I do stuff for people and then I have to get schedule in another person's life,"I have this to do today so we need to hurry that" or they promise me something but they double book themselves so somebody has to get disappointed and it's always ME . It's fucking annoying and it pisses me off. I dislike the fact that no matter where I go I can never seem to be happy I always go from one extreme of unhappiness and loneliness to another. Today I realize something nobody would care if anything happen to me until they need me for something (even that's limited). How sad is that to wake up one morning and realize no one would miss you. To be truthful some days I wonder why the heck am I still living because I'm not getting anything out of my own life. lol wait it's not even my life really I can't remember every doing anything I want to do with it.
I'm just tired. Tired of being unhappy tired of being lonely. Tired of having nothing to do. Tired of being this person I'm not.
The point in your life when you just don't give a damn anymore. I think I've reach it, no matter what i seem to do it just seems to go wrong. I'm in despair and can feel myself slipping back into depression real soon. I have a hard time saying no and it have this negative impact on me. I might take the semester off cause at this point I don't think I'm making the grade.
Sad as it is, Nope. People are always going place judgement base on something. With the way this society is until we as humans learn to look past the exterior of others different from us. Racism will forever continue.
My feeling regarding the winter holidays is simply just another advertise time of the year. I'm happy for it because it gets me out of school, so I have a little time to unwind and what not. I enjoy the fact that it gives me time to spend with the family but I just feel like its just another reason for people to make and spend money.
I'm not going to lie I'm extremely loyal sometimes that's to a fault. But as loyal as I am once you lose my trust it put a wicked stop in my loyalty to you, I stop a lot of friendship with people over the year due to trust. Friendship to me is a big deal but if there is no trust in it whats the point of continuing it when you have to bite your tongue because what you said might not go over to well with a said friend or because you know if you say it, it will be whole over your head for as long as the friendship last. "You don't open up to us, I though we are friends" I hear that phrase a lot and it makes me laugh, why would I open up to any of you when I see the way you talk about people that's suppose to be your friends behind there back like its nothing...
Every year its the same thing I mean a group of people I get along with but somewhere along the line they prove that being friends with them isn't worth it so I cut the cord. I can cut the cord because I don't tell people anything for them to talk bad about it, so what ever they have to say about I already know isn't true so they ever have to look back.
I decide something recently than I'm going to form friendship with people that doesn't have to be two face in order for people to like them...